Living in a world full of noise and external stimuli we sometimes stop hearing our own inner voice of common sense and wisdom. It may be shouting at top volume but its words fall on ears deafened by a cacophony of work deadlines and demands. I found myself in much the same situation over the past years. My forced retirement due to the stroke, from ALL activities, has given me the solace to tune-in to my inner voice and thankfully, it has not given up on me yet!
Don't get me wrong, I miss my work immensely and think each day of my students and activity members but as one friend reminded me, 'the universe does not stop. Things have a way of carrying on - the world will come around and pick me up again, when I am ready. ' It took a while, but I have finally accepted this. One peaceful, sunny morning, I woke up to the loud chattering of birds' morning song. It was 4am and I was mildly irritated by the noise so I put on some music. The mellow voices of Pandit Uday Bhawalkar and Pandit Ajoy Chakarbarty singing the morning Raag Bhairav https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipvQsm80NCY
For a brief & precious moment I experienced a perfect stillness that can only be possible when all the forces of nature are in complete harmony. This moment allowed me to make peace with myself and I came to the decision that it was time to heal.
When the correct decision has been made things have a way of falling into place. I have now found a friend to bring music into my life, a teacher to guide me in Tai Chi and an artist to help me express & appreciate the beauty of nature. All these will serve to empower and energise me over what is anticipated to be a long and arduous road to recovery.
I also found a book written by my friend and mentor from my osteopath days, Jan de Vries. The chapter on strokes read like a documentary of what I was experiencing and this too has helped me to accept my limitations and come to terms with my frustration.
In conclusion, all I know is that I had to experience that moment of stillness before I could hear the advice of my inner voice - the only voice that I will truly heed.
Don't get me wrong, I miss my work immensely and think each day of my students and activity members but as one friend reminded me, 'the universe does not stop. Things have a way of carrying on - the world will come around and pick me up again, when I am ready. ' It took a while, but I have finally accepted this. One peaceful, sunny morning, I woke up to the loud chattering of birds' morning song. It was 4am and I was mildly irritated by the noise so I put on some music. The mellow voices of Pandit Uday Bhawalkar and Pandit Ajoy Chakarbarty singing the morning Raag Bhairav https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipvQsm80NCY
For a brief & precious moment I experienced a perfect stillness that can only be possible when all the forces of nature are in complete harmony. This moment allowed me to make peace with myself and I came to the decision that it was time to heal.
When the correct decision has been made things have a way of falling into place. I have now found a friend to bring music into my life, a teacher to guide me in Tai Chi and an artist to help me express & appreciate the beauty of nature. All these will serve to empower and energise me over what is anticipated to be a long and arduous road to recovery.
I also found a book written by my friend and mentor from my osteopath days, Jan de Vries. The chapter on strokes read like a documentary of what I was experiencing and this too has helped me to accept my limitations and come to terms with my frustration.
In conclusion, all I know is that I had to experience that moment of stillness before I could hear the advice of my inner voice - the only voice that I will truly heed.
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